I have stared into the mouth of hell, and what stared back at me was Bebe’s Kids.

 

A couple months ago, I watched a low budget movie about a couple killer rappers called Hip Hop Locos. It was easily the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. This one might just run a close second. I realize that saying two “urban” movies are the two worst I have could possibly be interpreted a certain way, but such is my hatred for these movies that I just don’t care.

Bebe’s Kids is an animated movie based on a stand-up routine by the late Robin Harris. It might be a good thing that Harris died before seeing the awful movie his bit led to, but then again, he IS still the creator of this whole thing, so it’s hard to feel too sympathetic. The story involves Robin (here voiced by Faizon Love) having to spend a day watching three rowdy kids that are staying with a woman he likes. He takes the whole group to the amusement park Fun World, where the way-too-smart for their age kids proceed to raise hell and make his day a living nightmare. I know how he feels – I once sat through Bebe’s Kids.

Everything about this is awful. The animation is ugly and at times even hard to look at. Characters’ skin-colors randomly change during scenes. Nothing stays still for even a second. Now combine that with the music, which never stops and more often than not completely drowns out the dialogue. Meanwhile, if the music isn’t bad enough, there are constant sound effects also battering your ears. I’ve used the term “assault on the senses” for other movies before, but this must be the textbook definition. Michael Bay movies look downright calm and measured compared to the nonsensical chaos on hand here.

Considering this is a movie based on a stand-up comedy bit, you would think some of it would be funny. But it’s not. Not ever. It is aggressively unpleasant at every turn. I’m not kidding – I was incredibly antsy watching this movie, and had a very negative reaction to it. And not in a fun way. Bebe’s Kids hurt me. It hurt me a lot.

 

 

This review was originally posted at Trevor Likes Movies on July 26th, 2011.

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