Here’s how I like to think the original meeting for Lesbian Vampire Killers went:

– “Hey, Shaun of the Dead was pretty popular, huh?”
– “Yeah.”
– “Well, why don’t we make our own British horror-comedy with a nerd who has just broke up with his girlfriend, and his funny fat sidekick?”
– “Uhh, don’t you think that’s a little TOO similar?”
– “OK, we’ll make it a different monster. Vampires instead of zombies.”
– “That might help, but there’s still the fact that we’re nowhere near as talented as Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright.”
– “We’ll have tits in ours.”
– “I’m in.”

Actually, the true story is even more ridiculous, as this movie apparently came about when the two writers were challenged to come up with a movie title that would be both incredibly stupid and yet very commercial. Once they thought of “Lesbian Vampire Killers,” they decided to just go ahead and actually write it. And then, because they didn’t know enough to stop while they were ahead, they actually made it.

Alright, I’m being a little hard on the flick, which – truth be told – I didn’t really hate. But I think that’s only because, in my masochistic quest to watch as many bad horror movies as possible,I have seen far worse horror-comedies than this. So when one comes along that has even a few funny scenes, I find myself giving it at least some credit. That’s the case here. I laughed enough times to prevent me from calling it the total disaster that most seem to think it is (even one of its stars called it “unwatchable” after making it), but at the same time the whole thing definitely had a cheap, “been there, done that” vibe that it just couldn’t shake.

The story, if you care, concerns the two aforementioned buddies going on a camping trip in order to get the main character’s mind off of being dumped by his bitch girlfriend yet again. The two seem to hit a patch of very good luck when they meet up with a van full of hot young female students, but they subsequently have a bit of very bad luck when they all end up in a small, cursed town, where every girl – once she hits the age of 18 – turns into a lesbian vampire. But wait! Would you believe the main character is actually the last descendant of the famed vampire hunter who originally defeated Carmilla, the vampire queen? And would you believe that, during the course of the movie, Carmilla is resurrected, and our hero must live up to his destiny? I really hope you’re smart enough to believe all that.

Like I said, there’s some decent jokes here and there, most of them supplied by the terrific comedic performance of James Corden as the fat buddy (I hate to call him that, but, well, that’s what he is). Even though Corden is the actor I mentioned that apparently hates this film, he’s easily the best thing about it, as he reacts to every new horrific twist and turn with an exhausted exacerbation that reminded me quite of bit of Ricky Gervais. If I ever end up watching this again, it will be more to laugh at his antics than it will be to check out any of the supposed hot lesbian action (which is actually quite tame, in case you were wondering).

Interestingly enough, though, the main reason to watch this movie might just be if you’re a Doctor Who fan. Not only is Corden known for his performance in the great Matt Smith episode “The Lodger,” but none other than the Eight Doctor himself, Paul McGann, also shows up here, as a heroic local holy man trying to help defeat the vampires before his own daughter turns 18. He’s not quite as much fun here as I hoped for, but he has a couple really good moments.

I don’t know, I’m pretty ambivalent about this one. It amused me well enough, I suppose, but I don’t think it was quite funny OR stupid enough to justify that title, if you know what I mean. It’s a film I added to my Netflix queue a long time ago and forgot about, and it slowly inched its way to the top of the queue before showing up at my house at a point where I had forgotten all about ever wanting to see it. I guess I’d say go ahead and try to do that, too – if it’s nothing you have any sort of expectations for when you actually watch it, it’s a fun enough waste of 90 minutes.

This review was originally posted at Trevor Likes Movies on May 22nd, 2011.

Advertisements